10 Strangest Foods That People Actually Fry

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America truly is the land of the free and the home of the brave: its citizens are free to eat any wild thing they can think of, and brave enough to do so. There are whole swaths of the Internet devoted to insane eating and its effects on the body. And when it comes to crazy food, we love anything deep-fried. Seriously, anything. This isn't just your deep-fried butter or dough, the kinds of heart-clogging but not unexpected treats you can find at state fairs. We're talking about things that should never be fried at all. They're already complete food items, and already potentially bad for you in some cases. That's what makes these choices so strange: they were created not to be fried. Yet that hasn't stopped a few intrepid souls from dunking them in batter and being all they can be. It is a land of opportunity, after all.

  1. Cheeseburgers: Nothing more American than cheeseburgers, right? Right! That's why many people are taking a cue from the fry-happy Scots and giving their cheeseburgers a good soak. Take two frozen patties with cheese in the middle, dip them in batter, and dry them up. Presto, you've got an oily brown burger with a crunchy skin, just like you never wanted.
  2. Bacon: Texans do love their fried food, and the Texas State Fair remains a great place to learn what strange and inappropriate items are being fried by the curious eaters of the Lone Star State. This is the first of three items on this list just from the Texas fair, which ought to tell you plenty. At the 2008 event, Glen Kusak won the best taste award for his plan to take bacon — a meat that has already been cooked up in its own grease — and deep fry it. "Everything in Texas is chicken fried, and bacon makes everything better, so we thought we'd put the two together," he said. It's hard to argue with that kind of logic.
  3. Pizza: Why would you fry pizza? It's already pizza, which is to say, it's already awesome. Warm, cheesy, spicy, loaded with toppings; how you can improve that? Certainly not by folding up the ingredients and dunking them in oil. Frying kills the taste that makes pizza unique.
  4. Coca-Cola: What possessed Texas State Fair 2006 vendor Abel Gonzales, Jr. to look at a glass of Coke and think, "That needs more batter"? To make the product, he takes Coke-flavored batter, deep fries it, then pours Coke fountain syrup (yep) on top, then adds whipped cream, cinnamon sugar, and a cherry, because why not. It's basically Coke-flavored funnel cake that makes actual funnel cake look like a reasonably healthy alternative.
  5. PopTarts: PopTarts are a breakfast classic, no doubt about it. The blast of frosting and sugary filling has powered many a student through the first half of their academic day, and they're often easier and more fun to eat when they're not toasted. If you're looking for a way to take them to the next level (meaning an even more dangerous one), consider frying them. The process couldn't be easier: dip a cold PopTart in pancake batter, fry, cool, dust with confectioners sugar, eat while asking yourself if this is really what you want to do with your life.
  6. Spam: It's strange that people eat Spam, period, let alone fry it. Yet there are recipes out there for Spam Fritters, which are just slabs of the stuff dipped in a simple batter and given a quick fry. It has to be said that if you've got the time and energy to prepare this meal, then you have the time and energy to prepare a better one. Be warned.
  7. Apples: Apples (obviously) aren't a strange food, but the notion to fry them sure is. They're a fruit! They're wholesome and tasty and ready to eat! Frying them is a way of saying, "I want to tell myself I want apples, when in actuality I want to eat batter." And that's a perfectly legitimate choice to make. Just be honest about it. This recipe was born at Legoland, and involves slicing the apples, frying them, dusting them with cinnamon and sugar, and serving with a side of whipped cream. Just in case you were worried about getting a modicum of nutrients.
  8. Eggs: Hard-boiled eggs, that is. This recipe takes a food that's easy to make and light on the stomach and turns it into a complicated chore that's tough on the arteries. Very few people have ever considered deep frying an egg, and with good reason. You don't add anything to the experience.
  9. Cookie Dough: Cookie dough's a tasty indulgence whenever you're baking cookies, and it's also good in small chunks frozen in ice cream. But there's something about the act of deep frying it that's just wrong. (Check the picture at the top.) If you want hot cookie dough, just make cookies. If you want something greasy and fried, go for it. Why combine these two? It seems kind of pointless. It's not quite a cookie, and certainly not your typical fried dish. It exists in a no man's land, with the diverse ingredients effectively canceling each other out.
  10. Cicadas: This has to be the weirdest fried food available, period. It's not even a proper food, but a bug folded into a recipe. As a rule, you might want to avoid eating insects, since there are so many simpler ways to get vitamins and minerals into your system. It's also just weird, you know? The recipe calls for the bugs to marinated in Worcestershire sauce for an hour, which hopefully covers up the natural bugginess in the taste, but there's probably only so much you can do. Anything would be better than this.
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